* I buy one roll of toilet paper at a time. I pay for each individual phone call I make. Internet service is very expensive. All these things make me conscious and aware of my usage. In America, I go to Costco and buy toilet paper en mass. I have countless minutes on my cell plan, so I don't monitor, or try to conserve. And internet is a given - on all the time with no restrictions on downloading, video chat, internet games. Now, I am sparing, conscious of each minute on the cell, careful and decisive about what is worth spending internet time on... but I realize that I am forced to be conscious and aware of what personal values are governing. How am I choosing to spend my time. My money. My life. I like the fullness, the all-encompassing step into awareness this has brought about. When I'm being indulgent, I'm choosing that.
* I was sitting at my desk the other day. A cockroach started to crawl up my leg. I stood up, flicked it off, got the can of "spray", ttsshhhhh (spray sound).... and went right back to the letter I was writing. What is this emblematic of? I'm not sure exactly, but I did have a feeling of calm in a situation that only 8 weeks earlier freaked me out. Now some would say "is this really something you want to get used to?" But, it's different then getting used to cockroaches. Not sure what it is yet. Flexibility. Fortitude. Holding a sense of self under adversity is strengthening. Open to suggestions.
* The kids come home from school with incredible stories. Real stories about their teachers hitting kids with the big thick yellow ruler, or getting swacked on the head with a book, pulling on their ears to get them out of the classroom... I ask "does it scare you or are you worried about getting hit?". Alina says she is "really good" to ensure that she won't get wacked. Jonah says he's not worried, "it's just the rambunctious ones". I really admire the discipline in general at the school. A lot of responsibility is expected from the kids and they really come forward to meet the challenge.
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